Sunday, September 21, 2003 @ 01:09am | Entry no.339 | odd... quite odd... ||   mood    busy   || ||   music    Oceans Eleven   || Two anonymous comments within the past week, when I'm more used to getting no comments for weeks at a time. Interesting. Makes me wonder if I know them at all. Curious. Tell me who you are? Leave comments, or if you don't want to tell me your name, give little hints, so that I might be able to at least guess at who you are. Cmon, it'd be fun. Anywhoo, I don't know many chickies anyways, with the exception of Moni and Dolly at the moment. The other girls, unfortunately, I haven't kept in touch. I miss them. High school, for all it's drama and homework, was so much fun. I wish I were back there. I think I will visit them sometime, maybe even volunteer to be a chaperone [sp] for the Florida trip. ((giggles)) New freshies for me to play with. Oh! And Drew... how could I forget about him? Great. I have a track record for molesting pretty underaged boys. Goodness. FF4L Dolly, we rock! Anyways, I'm looking into buying a car, and being a useless kind of girl, I have no idea what I want to get. I'm going to play the typical role, and say that I want something pretty. Something pretty and fast... with a good system. That only narrowed my search down to say, a thousand cars or so. I need suggestions. I need price ranges, I need to know insurance rates. I need a lot of things. I need to get off my ass and find these things out. Leaving now <33 toodles edit Certain people, and you know who you are, because I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't care... if you're reading this; why aren't you IMing me anymore? What did I do wrong? Do you not want to talk to me anymore...? unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

Sunday, September 21, 2003 @ 07:06pm | Entry no.340 | I thought no tears would ever fall because of you. ||   mood    sad   || ||   music    Alan's Xanga page   || I wish it were true though. Mike doesn't care anymore. And for some strange reason, [[or maybe not so strange]], I'm really upset about it. I've already found myself in tears about it without realizing it. I thought I'd never cry over him. I guess I thought wrong. I don't even think he wants to talk to me anymore. That's the distinct impression that I get and now I'm left here, feeling more empty than I thought possible because of him. This isn't happening; he's my happy guy who I can hang around and not worry about grown-up troubles. I didn't expect him to be completely standoff-ish just because I happened to mention Billy a few times. I don't understand it. He referenced the last time we hung out:: DELETED (6:29:45 PM): i just stop being in your grill when you talk about how you like other guys and not me anymore because I left you to sit in my bed while I slept. heaven forbid Erm, okay. Yes, I happen to be interested a few other guys, mainly just two and even then it's on and off. Why do I like them? Well, let's see, they actually talk to me. And it's not as though I actually stopped liking him, more like, I get the feeling he'd rather me just not talk to him anymore, so I don't IM him as much, and... ((shrugs)) And as for this entry. How is that something that I've done wrong? That night, I was just generally too emo-ish for my good. I was glad that I had time to myself to think though. It wasn't a bad thing. If I truly had a problem with just lying in bed for all that time, I would have woken him up, but I didn't because I didn't have a problem with it. I was fine with just laying next to him, on him and just cuddling. Fuck, I just can't win with anyone. I wish I didn't have this feeling right now. I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry over him, but I guess it can't be helped. Guess this means I really was too attached to him if I'm able to cry over this. I think I shall go walk around with a blanky over my head and wander around like a little emo-kid, asking everyone who crosses my path to love me. Love me! Hug me and tell me I'm special. Ha. I really do need someone watching over me at all times, telling me what's the right and wrong thing to say. Maybe that would get me out of this situation. Fuck. More tears. I am too girly for my own good. Bugger! Mike, if you're reading this, whatever it is. I'm sorry! Not like he'd be reading this or even care because heck, I always seem to have my foot in my mouth with him. I can do no right. Argh. I hate this. Leaving now. <33 toodles unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )